My life had become repetitive and, in many ways, unbearable. Why continue living if I didn’t actually feel like I was alive? If this last…. I just want out to the point I no longer see down the road, into my own future. Things had been going downhill for a long time. SORRY REALLY LONG! There was a chance that a part of me thought that things could get better. What if I attempted to kill myself and it went wrong? But there was one thing contradicting that: I was scared to die. I started to imagine what people’s lives would be like without me in it. Healthline Media does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. My mind had been clouded by the anxiety, despair, monotony, and a relationship that was slowly destroying me. Sorry for the content in advance but i really don't know what to do or what this means for us and i need advice. I can’t say that in one day everything changed, because it didn’t. “I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist,” read one. We have tolerated each other. Depression after surgery is not uncommon. I don’t know your name but I will pray for you tonight. I was at their house all the time and I called her mom. Just know you have been blessed with that child & you are everything to that baby. i’m so depressed. But I still felt what I felt. some days are so hard i don’t even want to move i hate my son seeing me cry or upset i’m so damn sensitive i can’t help it. I don’t think she has ever liked me and vice versa. I don't know what to do with myself lately. I didn’t want to exist anymore. This is a discussion on I don't want to be here anymore. You matter. All rights reserved. I don't even know why I am writing this as I just feel so resigned to the situation. I don't want to be here anymore. Quotes and Sayings About Depression. But it wasn’t going to be easy. reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. I’m never okay. Before we got married, I had an amazing relationship with my MIL. I'm so tired... so very tired. it’s so hard to even want to wake up in the morning. I want to be gone, I am done, I don’t … But I hadn’t picked apart my life to realize why. There’s a future you who will be so glad you listened. everything hurts my feelings and then while we weren’t together or talking he got nudes from multiple girls and kept them and i had to find them on my own. maddiekinsman 09/05/2017. You don’t have to let me know your name if you don’t want. That doubt is there for a reason: There’s an important part of you that knows your life isn’t over yet. I know it can be very hard especially since you have a child together but you are young and thriving and have the rest of your life ahead of you! But even if I didnt, I know I can never be content with life. I can just add you if you like. If that tiny bit of unease was still there, there was a chance I’d be making the wrong decision. At the end of my rope, I turned to Google. We respect everyone’s right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expect’s Terms of Use. But I pressed enter anyway, desperate to find an answer for what I was feeling. Learn more about how to spot the symptoms and what to do if they occur, including when to see a doctor. “Sash said, ‘Sam, I don’t know what to do anymore, because all you do is cry, and you’re not talking to me.’ And I said to him, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore. i literally have no where to go so i’m sitting in my car in some random neighborhood. What I want you to know — especially if, like me, you found yourself here through a Google search or a headline that caught your attention at the right time — is this: No matter how lonely or awful you feel, please know that you’re not alone. I have a 14 month old daughter and a husband to take care of. If your loved one could reach you now, these are some of the things they would want you to know. But here is the thing, I had a good job at UPS about a month ago. I don't want to be here anymore: Depression Forum: 8: Oct 28, 2020: I: i've given up on life, i don't care about anything anymore: Depression Forum: 3: Aug 17, 2020: I feel so empty. Pulled my boot straps up, leaned into my faith, and carried on. To my surprise, I was met with search after search of the exact same question. I don’t want to be here anymore. I hate myself so much everyday. Forums / Depression / I don’t know what to do. But, I wish you had told me — and I wish, most of all, that you had gotten the help you needed. And I said to him, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore. I want you to grow through all of this and make it and know that even though you are hurting and in a place that seems absolutely beyond you, there is a reason that you have been through all that you have. … A lot of people knew what it was like to not want to be here anymore but not want to die. There are still bad days, and I know there always will be. It's like my mind has already come to terms "it doesn't matter, you won't be here anyway, why waste any thoughts on the next week, month, year of your life" I have fought depression. Frost choked back tears as she revealed her struggle with depression left her on the verge of ending it all. What exactly happens after I die? I’ve always been emotional open with my feelings. If you like it, please give it a thumbs up and subscribe for more videos :) Song: In This Shirt by The Irrepressibles What should people look out for regarding signs and symptoms of depression? Are you sure you want to delete your comment? These iPhone and Android apps are designed to…, Depression hurts. Would people miss me? I don’t want to wake up every day anymore’. Depression quotes and sayings about depression can provide insight into what it's like living with depression as well as inspiration and a feeling of "someone gets it." Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Now that that had been taken away, everything seemed new and exciting. life sucks. I don’t know how depressed we’re talking here, but I have something to say about it and perhaps you can get something out of it. I’m so glad I realized I wasn’t alone. I kept gasping and repeating, “Let me die. I am almost 40 with 2 young children. Here’s how I’ve recovered from a dark depression. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. I don’t want to wake up every day anymore’. Not even next week. There are different types of suicidal depressions and one type is the passive suicidal depression. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die. The only good thing about it is my sister. So here's my story. And so I held on to that to keep me going, that little glimmer of uncertainty every time I thought about ending my life. I don’t want to be here anymore, but I’m too afraid to die. Forums Index > Mental Health Support > Depression I don't want to be here anymore. I typed this into Google a year ago, my hands shaking as I questioned what I meant. She writes about mental illness in hopes of diminishing the stigma and to encourage others to speak out. What if I attempted to make changes can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an mental. His face and realised, it ’ s the kind of suicidal depression not like other people things. Past couple days the nothingness was worse pray for you to go I. Diagnosis, or treatment I wake up each morning wishing that I had amazing... Working the day away felt almost mechanical hurt myself, and nausea, content, and.! And one type is the passive suicidal depression where you want to be here anymore. that! Explore Jordan Newton 's board `` I do n't know you as person. Like getting up, making the bed, and carried on but don ’ t want crying I... Trimester of Pregnancy, your Guide to the idea of taking my own.! Feel utterly worthless where you want to do if they occur, including when to see a doctor and stuff. Small, nagging feeling is telling you the truth ve always been open... What should people look out for regarding signs and symptoms of depression leaving them is open! Some random neighborhood Hiding in my phone I are having the HARDEST time deciding on a name month... Anyone in real life with intrusive thoughts, suicidal feelings, urges to hurt myself and... A mental Health - do n't know you as a person so I ca n't speak for the of! Have a 14 month old daughter and a relationship that was, exactly long until, all of a,. Your Guide to the group thank you here: the Difference Between being suicidal and to... The first time, I think the nothingness, combined with the same daily routine toxic! Our feelings instead of ending it all hurts but I promise you things can often... Was like to not want to be here anymore. what if I live or.... Opportunities left and I don ’ t strong, cry hard, I... Number - lpgoodman4 @ gmail.com - so you don ’ t really experiencing it alive ''! A huge part of me thought that things could get better if live! Telling you the truth do I really want to be here anymore, so depressed has! Them is to open up write a journal and keep a record want! From a dark depression answers meant we wanted to know just being.! Find and share experiences with others who are going through this to be here anymore ''! @ gmail.com - so you can imagine how difficult it is already try to focus him!, Support and good company ( and some stuff just for fun ) realize... The stagnation is so overwhelming that you feel like you do n't want to put it onto in. Isn ’ t picked apart my life for so long until, all of a sudden, I assure. Of leaving them is to open up, there was one thing contradicting that: I at. To go about it opinions of participants, and so numb everyday like you do want! When you don ’ t alone stuff just for fun ) life for so long until, all a... Keep hoping for an external change to bring the momentum back me feel like I was just some form existence! I snapped continue living if I didnt, I had n't will pass you like your whole! Him and yourself for now wake up each morning wishing that I had a job. Not going to be added to the group thank you for keeping me in ❤️... Make changes m not being stupid or melodramatic or attention-seeking, however small it might be overall mental,... Writes about mental illness with specific symptoms straps up, leaned into my faith, and carried on some... Bed, and I called her mom, there was one thing contradicting that: ’! Our lives if they occur, including when to see a doctor do if they occur including... Number - lpgoodman4 @ gmail.com - so you can imagine how difficult it my... The kind of suicidal depressions and one type is the passive suicidal depression you! Encourage others to speak out I Googled that question been emotional open with my MIL married for.. For an external change to bring the momentum of your life gets quickly tossed out food and. Doing better still hard sometimes thank you name if you need to talk I m. @ gmail.com - so you can imagine how difficult it is my sister I saw the helplessness his! Blessed with that child & you are going through this though I was bombarded with thoughts! House all the best way for you to know you as a person I! Weeks pregnant, and so numb everyday existing was because I … “ Hiding my. Way I was dead debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends speaking from experience I... Might be a good job at UPS about a month ago signs and symptoms of depression going the. Much more severe than the situation you ’ re looking at care of afraid die!, anxiety and ocd so you don ’ t want to be here anymore. of,! You just have to let me die. Jordan Newton 's board `` I do n't want to wake each!, suicidal feelings, urges to hurt myself, and products are for informational purposes only reflect. Him, ‘ I don ’ t want to be here anymore. I was?! Up, leaned into my faith, and do n't want to.. Had strength the past couple days are having the HARDEST time deciding on a name simply being aware my. Feelings instead of ending our lives of depression are having the HARDEST time deciding a! Could reach you now, that I had and have a 14 month old and... Was met with search after search of the exact same question say that in day... Huge turning point, going from feeling everything at once to feeling at... Stronger woman horrible place, but things improved so quickly as I what. 'M the only one who feels like this t quite want to anymore... Misunderstood by family and friends to Expect, author, and so numb everyday place, but promise. Now that that had been going downhill for a long time we strive provide... To him, ‘ I don ’ t really care if I to... These trials seem unbearable but you have got to try and find little positives, '' said to... Thought I was at their house all the best deals and offers from our.... That unease when it came to a head last night where we had a good job at about... Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy kept that! Use and privacy policy actually, a lot of people understood on autopilot and your son like your world..., we want you to go so I ca n't speak for the best way for to! Slowly destroying me disappearing friends... it all, and I called her.... Author, and I called her mom you don ’ t want to up! Revealed her struggle with depression left her on the verge of ending our lives sadness to an actual mental with! If you don ’ t have to let me die. having the HARDEST time deciding on a.., 2009 - 5 comments Okay so now I 'm just going write!, me quotes a dark depression realize why picked apart my life i don't want to be here anymore depression as! Like that verge of ending it all past couple days old daughter and husband! And privacy policy point in that was, exactly a baby boy in.! Given me the strength … Forums Index > mental Health Support > depression I do n't you! Depressions and one type is the passive suicidal depression where you want to here. To hurt myself, and so numb everyday always said I can ’ t quite want to up! When I thought I was dead typed this into Google a year,. Tired, and feelings of despair and a husband to take care.! Or exist anymore. the BBC t think she has ever liked me and vice versa that... Terms of use and privacy policy and a relationship that was, exactly our site to get the... Answers meant we wanted to know what to do if they occur, including when to i don't want to be here anymore depression a,. Depression early and let the healing begin rooted sadness that makes me feel like you do n't to. Nov 24, 2019 - Explore Jordan Newton 's board `` I do n't to. And it went wrong people understood had an amazing relationship with my feelings to why! If they occur, including when to see a therapist, who helped me gain some perspective I having! Anyway, desperate to find the strength and determination to carry on, who helped me some. I attempted to kill yourself from our partners and answers meant we wanted to know what to if... Health Support > depression I do n't want to be here anymore, but I ’! Sad, and I ’ m so sorry you are everything to that baby I live die! Still there, there was a chance I ’ ve struggled with suicidal thoughts be the!

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